Episode 89: Anthony Hickox’s Warlock: The Armageddon (1993)
Rotten Tomato Score: 0%
The year was 1993, and director Anthony Hickox had unleashed what would become one of horror cinema's most spectacular failures upon unsuspecting audiences. Warlock: The Armageddon arrived with a thud that still reverberates through horror history, eventually earning the rare distinction of a perfect 0% score on Rotten Tomatoes.
We dive deep into this bizarre sequel where Julian Sands returns as the titular warlock, born during a rare eclipse and tasked with collecting six mystical rune stones to unleash Satan upon the world. Standing in his way? An "order of druids" consisting of three elderly men and two teenagers with approximately two days of training between them. What could possibly go wrong?
The film's special effects deserve special mention - from magical twinkles that look like fairy dust to blood resembling red paint from the 1970s. Every time something supernatural happens, expect a shower of glitter stars that would make a kindergarten craft project look sophisticated by comparison. Meanwhile, Julian Sands spends the entire film with an inexplicable breeze blowing through his hair (and only his hair), delivering lines like "Don't you want to give your boy a kiss, mother?" with such scenery-chewing intensity that you'll find yourself laughing instead of cowering.
We break down the film's most memorably awful moments, from the warlock ripping off a woman's scalp and casually remarking "here, see for yourself," to teens making love before battle while trees shake their leaves in apparent approval. We also discuss the few elements that actually work, including a genuinely creepy birth scene during the eclipse and an intriguing alternate reality behind mirrors.
Whether you're a fan of cult horror or simply enjoy cinematic disasters, this episode explores how Warlock: The Armageddon manages to be so entertainingly bad that it achieves a certain twisted charm. So grab our "Curse of the Screaming Druid" cocktail recipe, settle in, and join us as we unravel this monument to 90s horror excess.
Sinister Sips
Curse of the Screaming Druid
From: The Intoxicologist
Recipe:
1 oz tequila
1/2 oz lime juice
1/4 oz lemon juice
1.5 oz orange juice
1/4 oz grenadine
Place fresh ice in a rocks glass.
Add Tequila and juices and stir.
Float grenadine.
Plot Summary:
An order of Druids train their children to battle an evil Warlock determined to unleash Satan upon the world by bringing a collection of five mystic rune stones together. (Taken from IMDb)
Watchability Scale
We didn’t hate the film, but we also didn’t enjoy it. We placed the film at 2 on the Watchability Scale.